The heat has been turned off in my dorm room, but the air has not been turned on yet. If you turn on the vent it will dump out warmer than desired stale air that only makes the fact that it is at least 85 in our rooms worse. So, because it is better to suffer together than apart, I am hiding in a friend’s room. I intended to work on an English paper…but since I have forgotten my flash drive with my prewriting on it, and because it is all the way down the hall and down one flight of stairs, I have decided just to update le blog. Okay, so it isn’t that far away, but it is hotter than Dante’s Inferno in this place and moving just makes it so much worse. Opening the windows solves nothing because of the pollen blizzard that is blowing around outside. I could make a pollen angel or pollen man out of this crap.
Michael’s brother accidently let it be known how much money Michael has in the bank. To his brother, this wasn’t a big deal. To Michael is was a tragedy. To myself, I finally found how much money is in the engagement fund. Trust me people, it was something for me to be excited about.
I enjoyed my Easter Sunday. I didn’t get gifts or go on an egg hunt. I just spent the day with my mom. We ate a small dinner of mashed potatoes, turkey loin, deviled eggs, carrots, and corn. We had a bottle of wine, and some pudding pie for dessert. I suppose what I enjoyed the most about it was that I spent two hours at the kitchen table talking to her and enjoying myself. We talked about marriage and weddings (her previous one and my…impending one). We talked of futures, of family, of finances.
It was pretty swell.
Speaking of hilariously painful happenings, Friday I committed myself to working in my room. I skipped the campus food and went for a college classic: Ramen. So here I am, slurping ramen (from my RAMEN BOWL!) and watching tv. Cough. Choke. Gag. Then I am okay again. Except…my nose is on fire. Ten minutes later I try to purge my face of this demon pain. Wam Bam—I blew a noodle out of my nose! It hurt like hell, but it was fantastically hilarious. So much that I took a picture of said demon noodle and sent it to Michael.
Anyhoozles, I have to go and be collegiate.
Peace, Love, and Pudd’n Pops,
AMZ
September 10, 2008 I know it has been more than forever since I posted a blog. I apologize! Ive gone from comfortably having the internet to not getting on the internet for months at a time, except for logging in. Not much else aside from that. My life right now is absolutely, unbelievably AMAZING! College is an amazing experience! You may think that I am saying that because the full workload hasn't hit me yet. That may be true, but that doesn't change how amazing this place is. Like...I leave classes every day feeling so enlightened! So what if I have tons of papers-reading-discussions, I feel like this place is going to take me far in life... Over the summer I worked and spent all my money on dorm stuff. I spent a lot of time with my great friends, they make me so happy! I spent an unusually long time with Michael, my closest guy friend. I dunno he's always been so easy to be around. I think in the three years we've been friends, we've only fought a few times (always over dumb things of course) and we made up and learned our lesson. We always got along so well! That's why I loved to be his friend; we have such a common sense of humor and we're never bored with each other. I remember over the summer we went to a friends house in the middle of the night, and he said he wrote a song that he thought was pretty good, and wanted to sing it. So he grabbed a guitar and sang his song. It was so good! I was instantly smitten. With my best guy friend? Whom i've been denying thought of a relationship with since the very beginning? Yep. That one. I decided at that moment that I wanted to be with him for real this time. So we went on a date. Always awkward, the first date, but being friends we quickly got over that feeling and enjoyed each other's company. We ended up spending about three hours sitting in my drive way talking to each other. YES. TALKING. You jerks. Since we had just opened this emotional door to each other, it was the best time to talk seriously about everything in life good and bad. I can't even begin to tell you what we talked about. Absolutely everything under the sun! Or rather...the moon. I wanted to go home and think about everything we'd talked about, and the possibility of being with him. But as soon as I got inside with the giggles and went to bed, I woke up forgetting how amazing my night was, and calling it a fluke. I was, in reality, too afraid to take the chance. So we had an awkward phone conversation quickly a few days later. We both said we wanted to keep it the way it was originally, but we had an amazing time nonetheless. We Lied. And I knew he was lying as soon as he'd said he wanted to stay friends. And I told myself, "Dont say it don't say it don't say it!" and then I said, despite my inner pleas, I think we should stay friends too. STUPID! Why'd I say that!? I saw him a couple days later. I'd missed him. A helluva lot more than I'd ever thought I would. It was strange. We both acted like the time we had spent apart didn't phase us at all. The tough act. Lame act indeed. He drove me home that night. We talked some more. We asked each other "What now?" He wanted to be with me, I wanted to be with him. Simple as that. So he let me call the shots; he trusted me not to hurt him. We went through that in-between phase, by my request for adjustment, called "Talking," and at the end of it made the final decision to become a couple. The couple we were supposed to be years ago but never were. There were reasons of course. I was dating lame POS loser guys. I was in loser denial. And in reality, dating someone in high school dooms them forever. We've already graduated. Formally left the central place of drama and excessive heartbreak. That dumb shit. We were both adults now, it was time for the adult relationship we both deserved. And actually I thought about him while I was with those guys. Not "Ohhh I wish I were with him and not these losers." Don't forget I was in crazy denial over us. I just thought how cool it would be to hang out with him, and stuff like that. But that kinda proves that I generally preferred his company to those guys'. So I'm in a real relationship, with a real man. One whom I trust with my heart. It's been over a month, and we've yet to argue. Im not asking for a gold star sticker here for goodness sakes. Im just pointing out that our common interests and humor and past friendship have made us a strong couple from the very beginning. And of course, he makes me happier than any of those other guys. Ew. Other guys. Since I am living on campus and he's living at home, it is a little sad not to see him every day. He says he goes through Anna withdrawals. I believe him. He comes to see me all the time at school all the time. I've met his family: I absolutely adore them! And I've heard that they like me too haha. I can tell already that I'm going to be with him for a very long time. It feels...so right. =] And one more thing: I seem to have forgotten how much I over-word things. I sound too much like an old woman. This isn't actually how I speak in person, trust me. |
I am sitting on the green today. It’s crazy nice outside right now. It smells like freshly cut grass, and it is cool enough to sit out because the dew is still evaporating. The children are running around playing games, which I love, because the sound of children laughing makes me love I dunno, being alive. It definitely sets off the baby clock. “Must. Have. BABIES.” at least that’s what I think it’s saying. Of course then my common sense jumps in like, “oh shit no, you’re finishing college and getting married first.” Oh yeah. College and marriage first.
This is a horse. Made of potatoes. My friend sculpted this beast.
In a couple of weeks, there will be a program called Project Hair Care. It’s all about getting your hair cut and donated to make wigs for women who have lost their hair due to cancer. I decided that after two years of growing my hair out, this is the best thing to put it towards. Besides, the warm weather has rolled around and I’m aching for a pixie cut. And also, I’m sick and damned tired of my showers being taken up by hair washing. I mean I am in the shower for ten to fifteen minutes, and at least two-thirds of it is gone to washing my hair. No way man.
I thought about how this may affect my relationship with Michael. I mean, I will look a little like a boy. That always seems to be a topic of conversation among some men. How they wouldn’t like their girls anymore because they look like “guys” or “lesbians.” Think about it in the reverse. Would you love your clean cut guy if he had longer hair than you? Hint: I wouldn't. GAG. Ah but here’s the catch about that: cutting my hair won’t magically turn me into a man, nor will I be transformed into a lesbian. So, because I will be exactly the same as I was before, only much more aerodynamic and efficient when it comes to showering. It would be more like...a breeze enhancement device. I don’t have anything to worry about. I can’t wait actually, because I know it is such a great cause. I will be making some woman very happy somewhere.
I will have to finish this later. Much to my dismay, the green doesn’t have bathrooms (though that’s actually a very good thing). So my bladder is crazy full. Plus there is a massive spider on my computer. God know whether or not it was crawling all over me before it decided to crawl on the computer…
Peace, Love, and Pudd’n Pops
AMZ