Day 16:

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.


Music from this decade pretty much blows. I mean there has been plenty of catchy music, but not a whole lot that you can actually call musically good.


That being said, there's a ton of underground that completely sucks too. I'm not an underground junkie. Sometimes coming up with totally new music genres isn't a spectacular idea. 


Meh.

Day 15:

Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs.




I don't tumbl much, but my favorite bloggers are:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

http://tracetheartist.blogspot.com/

http://itsonlyfear.blogspot.com/

http://mythoughtphilosophy.blogspot.com/

http://stuffnoonetoldme.blogspot.com/

http://offbeatbride.com/

The end.

Day 14:

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.


Kindergarteni-ish years.


Watching Rupert in the mornings, then going to PM Kindergarten and sitting on the shapes rug next to Houston. Playing pretend. I think that's as early as I can remember.

Day 13: A trip to the moon on gossamer wings

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.


The city. I've been listening to a lot of Sinatra Lately. It's got me in the mood to go to a snowy city that isn't too packed. Perhaps New York, or D.C. Or maybe even Baltimore.


I'm torn, really. I'd really love to move back to the country and live so far away from people that I don't have neighbors. But at the same time I want to live in the city close to where the excitement is. I just need to live downtown for a while maybe then I'll get the city out of my system.


AMZ

Day 12:

Day 12 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.


Okay.


1. Miss Murder -- AFI
2. Turn It Off -- Paramore
3. Chasing Cars (Acoustic) --Snow Patrol
4. Sunday Bloody Sunday -- U2
5. Poker Face --Lady Gaga
6. Paparazzi -- Lady Gaga
7. Nine in the Afternoon -- Panic At The Disco
8. Iron and Wine --The Postal Service
9. Arab Money --Busta Rhymes, et al
10. Fireflies -- Owl City




I'm a weirdo.


AMZ

Day 11:

Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 11 - Bullet your whole day.


I don't have my ipod on me. But I'll get to it tomorrow. 


Here we go (This is what's happening/happened today):

• 12 am-3am: Do random RA related things
• Sleep
• Alarm goes off at 8
• Run scared shitless across my freezing cold room to turn if off
• Back to bed for 30 more minutes while the coffee brews itself
• Up at 8:30 to watch Fox News and drink coffee
• Do various getting ready things and head out of the dorm at 9:30
• Run to the terrace for OJ and a warm cinnamon chip scone
• Head to work on campus and scarf down aforementioned scone, whilst doing worky things
• Go to class
• Eat lunch
• Go to class from 1:30 to 5:30
• Eat dinner
• Dick around/do homework/Facebook for three hours
• Do homework for maybe an hour
• Get hyped for the HP midnight premier
• Go to said premier two hours early
• Watch HP.

That is my day in bullets, yo.

Peace, Love, and Pudd'n Pops,

AMZ

Day: 10

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.


In my world, the first couple of guys I dated and kissed never happened, because they were and remain to this day to be utter embarrassments. Except for Daniel, he's a cool guy. We had jack shit in common, but he was still cool. 
Anywho, I'd like to pretend that that bucket full o' fail never existed. 


So since this is my blog and all, that's the complete truth. My first kiss sucked. It was with someone I dubbed almost instantly, "the freshman mistake." 'Nuff said. My first real love was actually Michael. I dated other guys because I was just tired of being alone. But I'm not with him for the sake of company. 


Short and Sweet.


Anyway,
Tomorrow night myselfsjaanjennhopemirandasarahandmanymore....are going to see Harry Potter 7 part I.
I am literally wiggling around from excitement (and too much caffeine at dinner....but moreso from excitement).
Then Michael is going to pick me up from campus after it's over...maybe 3 am, so that I can go home and get very little sleep only to wake up at 6 to go to work until 5! You can bet your sweet ass that I'm going to be injecting coffee straight into my arm. With cream. 


So right now I'm going to take a quick shower, then paint my nails if I can find some black polish. I took 5 Sorting Hat quizzes, one with 110 questions, and it has been determined that I am a Hufflepuff. Off I go! 


"You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,
And unafraid of toil"


AMZ

Day: 09

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.


I hope my future will be bright. I hope to be blessed with a loving husband and beautiful, healthy children. I hope to be successful, making a difference for everyone I meet. I don't wish for money and power. I just wish to get by. I hope that I still have good relationships with my current friends, even the ones I don't hang out with all that often. Hope that I will see my family often and we will have a strong relationship. I hope that we will all be healthy, and in the face of ill health, be strong. 
I hope that when I close my eyes at night the last thing I see will be my husband beside me. And when I wake up in the morning, there he will be. And I will giggle like I did on our first date. I hope in the future we will have as strong a relationship as we do now, even if we aren't married now. 
This post is too much like 10 years from now, so I don't have too much today.

Woot desktop

This is my fake Mac. I am quite pleased with it. I just installed 7 the other day and threw in a Mac-like dock for funsies.

Day 08:

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life


The most satisfying moment of my life. That's a pretty hard thing to have to choose. Are you asking me to look back at all of my experiences in life and decide which one was the greatest? I've only been alive for twenty years, but I still have a lot of memories to sort through just to find that one moment.


I suppose it has to be sometime since I began going to college. Probably when I had a good sense that what I'm doing with my life is the right choice, and who I am with is the right guy. I guess it would have to be this summer at Michael's cousin's in Kentucky. I was officially a junior in college. I had three jobs at the time. School was mere weeks from starting for the fall semester. I had everything good going for me at that time, minus a few things that I wanted to have desperately. His cousin's home is officially the largest home I have ever been in, and one of the most loving places I've ever been in, too. 
In the evenings during our stay, Michael would stop what he was doing and drift into the formal living room to play the piano. The home quickly filled with music and the room quickly filled with golden sunlight. Everything in that room was fragile and filled with the pasts of other people. I would sometimes wander in during that time and take it all in. Words weren't necessary, nor do I think they would have been heard over the keys. The shadows danced, the wooden floors creaked, the man at the bench eyed me with curiosity while I wandered around. I inhaled contently, and exhaled with satisfaction. Our eyes would meet occasionally, and break apart after seconds. You don't need words to communication affection. 
After the sun went down and the light left the room, I would drift back into the kitchen to sit with the family and prepare for that night's fantastic meal. Michael would arrive soon after; never really mentioning our interaction. Neither did I. 


I'd say life was pretty satisfying at that moment. 


AMZ

Day 07:

Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

via wikizodiac

The fifth sign of the Zodiac, Leo, is a sign of creativity. It moves past the exploring of the world, and past the need to care for what the first signs are concerned with. Leos use their energy and will power to succeed in their creative projects. There are many Leos in the Hollywood spotlights as they have great artistic talents and love the attention that they receive with fame. More than that, Leos are incurable romantics, and they are also very hospitable, which makes them proud. The assigned house for this sign is the fifth: the House of Pleasure. Colors: Gold for lions and the sun, and Purple for royalty. Other things that weren't worth copy/pasting: We're loyal and romantic to our lovers. We hate being alone/prefer the company of others. Among other things.

Where I stand, I have absolutely no talent and am very unsure of my success in the future. I do enjoy being alone, but not all of the time. I am unbelievably loyal and affectionate too, but not in public. I want to emphasize again how little talent I have. I am ambitious, like my...people i guess, but I do tend to sacrifice my ambition to make others happy. In the end, I'm not much like Leo except for the pride and stubbornness. 

Day 06:

Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Right on schedule.

1. I don't know my blood type, and that's because I am deathly afraid of needles.
2. I curl my toes under my feet when I'm not wearing socks
3. I am fascinated by the Arabic language
4. I have huge feet
5. Alcohol does not interest me
6. I want to move back to my home town
7. I drink coffee almost every day, and I have since the sixth grade
8. I am deathly afraid of firearms
9. I blaspheme regularly
10. I rarely know what I'm actually talking about, academically.
11. I hate the feeling of being hungry
12. I like to be in control of things sometimes
13. I want to marry this wonderful man.
14. I'm not very interesting
15. There are very small things that set me off, then I hold on to those things and let them fester
16. I hate the way I look physically
17. I put up with a huge amount of shit for the people I love
18. I wish I had artistic talent
19. I don't do enough of these things for this to come to me easily. I can't think of shit to write.
20. I blow my nose constantly
21. I chew on my lips
22. I have a drab wardrobe
23. I have very little money despite how much I work
24. I want to be able to fly. I don't care if it's with super powers, or wings, or whatever. I want to fly.
25. I want you to choose me over them, but I don't want to actually tell you that. I want you to want to choose the same way.
26. I want to be married and live with my husband, but I have no money for such a thing
27. I'm scared of death. Both the death of myself and the death of my loved ones
28. I want to be a college student forever, but I don't want to do the work that is involved
29. I like George Bush.
30. I refuse to pull an all-nighter. I love sleeping more than I love good grades.

Day 05:

A time you thought about ending your own life.

I'm going to try to keep this one short. I had a boyfriend in high school. I think of him like I think of a scar. Ugly and permanent. Never able to quite forget it. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. He threatened physical violence on multiple occasions. People like that are fucked up, and they really know how to mess with a person's head. I went into that relationship strong and independent and level-headed. I left it damaged and weak, not able to fully trust someone for a long time. I won't bore you with the details, but he had finally gotten to me. I couldn't take it anymore. I had all sorts of crazed rationalizations. I bitterly consumed alcohol to make it go away like I had seen in all of the movies and shit. That's what you're supposed to do when you are too afraid to speak to someone, but you really hope they notice...
After the alcohol took effect, I took what I think to be at least 65 aspirin. 1 hour later my head was burning and ringing.I got sick and threw most of it up. The aspirin had dissolved and burned my throat and teeth up so that they were rough. I could only hear the ringing. I told Michael, then my friend, that I didn't want to go to school that way and he had soon found out why because he didn't take no for an answer. He carried me to class. I was far too drugged and in way too much pain to move, and the noise in my head kept me from concentrating. It's like sirens and mosquitoes combined and constant. I eventually went to the guidance counselor, who eventually called my mother. She never looked at me the same way for years.

It is something that I am deeply ashamed of. I have come to terms with the event and the reasons behind it, but I just prefer to act as though it never happened at all. I prefer to ignore that day of the year. I prefer to ignore the hideous scars on my psyche in the hope that they will heal to the point where I will have forgotten the entire thing. No one I know talks about it either. Because it never happened...

Day 04:

Your views on religion.

My views on religion are simple. Be what you wish, but please just let me be what I am. I do not like when people openly exercise their religion, but then condemn others for practicing theirs.
I am sort of Catholic. At least I was told my family was Catholic growing up. Honestly, I have never been terribly interested in pursuing a particular faith, mostly because I have never been a fan of the texts of faiths. I really do think that's what it is. The bible does not interest me. It actually turns me off to religion. Is it because I do not want to be restricted to religious rules like a handbook of conduct? Who knows. I know there are lessons in every religious text. Wise lessons, I'm sure. It just pushes me away. I would love to meet the Pope though. I have a great amount of respect for the man. I  would like to meet a religious figurehead of every faith (though the Pope is at the top of the list).
Anyway. I love religion. I love that there are so many people who feel so strongly about so many things. I love how all of our stories have many of the same characters (Jesus being a common theme in major religious texts). I love how people are proud to live their lives by the creed devote themselves to this. I love how even if we feel this particular way, we are all, ideally, supposed to live our lives the exact same way. With humility, with charity, with love. Love.
I love how myself, a Christian, can have an open and understand discussion about God with Duha, a Muslim. I love how she can walk into a church and be welcomed with open arms, and I to mosque on Eid and be welcomed with Asalaamu alaykum graciously.
If we take the time to get to know one another, to recognize our differences and similarities, and embrace one another for those things then in all actuality we would be putting into practice what our religious texts and leaders instruct us to do. Think about it.

Day 03:

Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Listen. My views are pretty simple.

Illegal = No.

Legal = Yes. In moderation.

If a drug is illegal, don't use it. It's really not worth ruining your future over. It's really not. They're illegal for a reason. We've all seen someone on drugs. Watched A&E or something. It's scary what happens to these people. They lose themselves in a substance. So don't do it. Seriously.

If it is legal, be smart about it. I mean shit, that goes for everything in life. Don't eat to much you'll get sick. Don't drink to much alcohol...you'll become poisoned and die. Same thing, right? Aside from that, alcohol is expensive. And as far as things that are legal to have, like cough medicine and things like that, don't be a dufus. Just use it for what it is intended to be used for. Like...coughs.

The last category, people who are not legally allowed to use certain substances. To them I say for God's sake please just be responsible. If you are going to drink when you're 19 or 20, it had sure as shit better be somewhere you trust, with people you trust. Like your mother's house on Thanksgiving. Yeah. I've been known to enjoy a glass(es?) with my family. 


Other things, like cigarettes, need to go away forever. Just because of the nonsense that they put into them! If its tobacco, whatever, do what you wish with your own body. It ain't mine to be commanding. If its tobaccofiberglassnicotineetcetera, gross.

Though I have to say I have been a hookah enthusiast since I turned eighteen. Don't tell anyone in my family. I might be a hypocrite on that one, but buzz off, it's my sheesha.

Yep.

Day 02:

Where you'd like to be in ten years.

I have simple goals. Sometimes I feel like they are too simple. I am unlike my friends in that I don't see myself living in a major, bustling city with a fantastic home. I see myself where I am now, only a little bit older. Let's see, in ten years I hope to be happily married with a child or two. I will still have my amazing cat, who is currently unnamed. I hope to have a modest, but comfortable, three bedroom home with a garage and a frog. I wouldn't mind a big porch or deck either. I hope to have at least the amount of land I had growing up, which wasn't too much. We lived on seven acres, and I took advantage of the land in my play. I want that for my children too.
By then I hope to be a licensed master of social work, or maybe even licensed independent. I hope for my husband to be successful as well. Perhaps an owner or manager of a good business. I will be raising my children to be sarcastic, like myself. I don't expect to have vast amounts of money. Any excess to modest/comfortable living will be put away to various savings, rainy day, college, and retirement accounts.

I'd like to say I'll have done things that I always wanted to do, like travel to Ireland to visit the town of my not too distant ancestors. Like visit France for their wine and countryside. Like visit Italy for their culture and love. Within that I would like to have traveled to the Vatican City to be in the presence of His Holiness the Pope.
I'm too realistic though, so I don't think any of these things will have happened after ten years. I haven't even saved enough money for a car yet, and I'm how old?

Ten years from now I hope to find myself happy.

Day 01:

Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Righto. I have been in a relationship with a man named Michael for well over two years. My mom moved during high school so I went with her, and it happened to be in the same neighborhood as this obnoxious guy. I met him on the second day of school, on the bus, and we instantly made jokes. As it turned out, we had three classes together, so I saw him every day that year. It pissed me off at times. He was such a jerk! But weren't all guys in high school jerks? And he had ADHD...so he bent me out of shape sometimes.
Anyway, whenever we would fight (which was maybe once or twice a year), we didn't speak to each other or look at each other or want anything to do with one another. These fights were unlike any other fight I'd had with a friend before.
I'd had a couple boyfriends during high school, but those never lasted terrible long. Michael was always nice to them. Our senior year, he was the one who had a girlfriend. I was nice enough to her, but I couldn't stand her. I was insanely jealous, and I wasn't sure why because I didn't see myself dating my best friend at all. By senior year he drove us all to school. I was the only one who never paid him for gas because he knew I didn't have any money. I never had money. I didn't have a car of my own so it made it difficult to work, especially since mom wouldn't let me borrow her car. He bought me lunch because I didn't qualify for reduced lunch and neither me nor my mom could afford the expensive lunches at that school. He would buy salad for lunch, but I got his two sides and his milk. Every day this would happen. After the end of my last relationship, Michael and I were on the rocks as well. We bickered over that last boyfriend because he was no good and we both knew it.
We were still mad at each other at graduation. I was too proud to tell him I was sorry, but I was very sorry. I was so proud, that I didn't even see him graduate, though he says he saw me.
I'm not quite sure what brought us together. We had both mentioned in high school that while there, there is no such thing as a serious relationship. It's just not possible.
We'd made up at some point, and spent the first part of the summer with each other and friends. Halfway through I began working as a cashier at the grocery store he had been at for years. At that point he knew more than the managers, and that intimidated me. Here I am not able to press those damned buttons in the right order and there his is bookkeeping and department hopping. All of our friends and sort of friends in HS said we should date, and we both said gross no way. All of the people at the store saw us together and within the week, told us that we should be dating. Still we said no, gross. Yucky.
At that point I was on the rebound with that same old ex, and he was talking to a friend of his that I found to be a pretty gross individual. She was just nasty and mean. Not a very nice personality. She always called people bitches and sluts. Gee whiz. Anyway them talking to each other burned me up inside. I never let it show, but I hated the way she looked at him with a passion.
Anyway---to make a very long story a little bit shorter: We went on a real date (we were very nervous) and hit it off of course (why wouldn't we? We spend so much valuable time with each other that we grew up to reflect each other's personalities) and after a couple of weeks (I remember nervously kissing, that was pretty cute haha) we cast aside those other people and threw out or doubts and fears and went for it.

This relationship was well received by most, but others were not so approving. Said nasty girl actually threatened to beat me up, so I told her she was an animal. Seriously, beat me up? Over a guy? Get over it. Two mutual friends of ours said they were happy for us, but in reality they weren't. They said to me that I won't have any friends like them left because I spend so much time with Michael. They said it will never last anyway, and when it's over our friendship will be ruined because of it. For reasons unsaid I have chosen not to be friends with them anymore. That barbaric girl decided to come out of the closet and move to Cali with her internet girlfriend. I shit you not.

So back to the original point of this post. For over two years, Michael has been my everything. We know everything there is to know about each other. Habits, favorite phrases, temperaments. He knows my silent upset face and exactly what it means, especially when I say, "nothing." His family absolutely loves me, and my family loves him. So much so that he has a key to my house, like the rest of my mother's children. Mom told me he made it onto the list of favorite sons-in-law. His parents have offered to let me live with his family.

We have been given many opportunities to take shortcuts, but we're staying as old-fashioned as we can with it. We do not live together, nor do we plan on living together until we get married (Unless something comes up that makes living together the best option). We haven't planned our future around each other, but we have talked about it and made some room for the likely possibilities. Sometimes we both have this deep urge to run to the courthouse and get it over with now, but that never lasts long. We know better than to let go of our dreams so easily. We talk about weddings, we talk about gets, we talk about houses in neighborhoods close to our families. We talk about what our parents did and our siblings, and how their plans differ from our own.
We're boring in a way, because we already know what the future holds for ourselves and what we will do to get there. But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Peace, love and pudd'n pops
AMZ

Habibi

Arab-night is the best. Hands down.
Friday, a mutual friend of Michael and myself invited us downtown to a get-together some friends of ours were having. We were the token white people in a small apartment full of arab men and women. The party was thrown by Ahmed and Nadia, a couple that we know pretty well, and in attendance were ourselves, our good lady friend, a girl we'd never met from the next building over, and some guys that we had met before but not known very well. We had two hookahs smoking with orange and mint in them. We passed around hoses and ate spinach that was wrapped in dough and baked in bread with lemon juice. Ahmed had the grill going outside, and Nadia ran around like a chicken with her head cut off carrying cooked and uncooked foods to be put in particular places. When dinner was ready, we dug into babaganouj, Damascus bread, grape leaves, spinach pastries, chicken kabobs, salad, and beef kabobs. Michael and I ate ourselves stupid, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells in the room that remind us of family.
After dinner, we all puffed happily on sheesha while the girl we'd never met went on floating from person to person, having intoxicated conversations. She was the only person there drinking. In fact, she was the only one that drinks much, and it showed. I'm not saying it was a bad thing, I mean to each his own, but she was a little obnoxious at times. Anywho, after dinner we continued smoking and eating sweet treats while we played a game of good 'ol charades. It's funny how you can have good clean fun with your friends without the use of drugs or alcohol or those things that so many other people my age feel are necessary to have a good time. We played charades for what I think was two hours, until we just couldn't do it anymore.

We will have to do it again soon, before the boys leave for Saudi and Oman permanently and we will never get to see them again.

So, a couple of friends of Michaels, whom I was friends with in high school but did not want to be friends with them during college, contacted me the other day to patch things up. I was quite honest, and I said I was not interested. They pursued the matter, asking for reasons, and I could not lie. I gave them every good reason I had for not wanted to associate with them anymore. They tried to turn it around, claiming that I have myself wrong and that I do not know myself as well as I should and other things like that. I said something something, they said something something. They threw out the claim that I only dislike them for their friendship with Michael, and I cannot come close to what they have. Trust me, I stayed civil even after all of that, though I found it hilarious. In the end, I offered to keep going the way things were before, civil and avoiding, for the sake of poor Michael who had been caught in the middle. They aren't interested haha. No skin off my back, because contrary to what they think, I do have real friends (they think if someone isn't friends with them, they don't have real friends), and they are fantastic. See awesome Arab dinner, above. All of that is said and done now. 

Anyway, I will be doing this: http://f0x.tumblr.com/post/1513434733/im-doing-this with Sjaan and Jenn. So be prepared for your dashboards to blow up.

Peace, Love, and Pudd'n Pops